Day One: My History

"Call me Ishmael. I live in a boat," floating on the deep blue ocean. My boat is pink. Today I arrived in the Mediterranean, after being abducted by aliens and exploring the lost planet of Abdulala. I am a pirate to be; I even have a treasure chest filled with snackwells. A few minutes ago, I was so exited about being a pirate, I decided to go out and practice sailing. But as I steered the wheel, a giant sea monster- named Nessy- with 10 heads, one eye, a mile long tongue, and ten legs attacked my ship. She was teething; that's why she ripped off half my rigging, leaving me afloat for five minutes. I was forced to communicate with a whale- I have extensive knowledge of their language- who gladly transported me to the floating island. I was on my way to finding my "personal legend."

After eating all the cookies in one day, I realized I had no more food for the remainder of my long voyage- I was riding the floating island whose wheel is steered with the guidance of the wind. Eating all my cookies was probably a very bad idea, but I was so exited to finally be out on sea, I didn't plan ahead. My stomach began to growl; I felt it clenching, begging for food. What was I to do without food in this new voyage which lay before me? So, sitting on my behind, I contemplated the world... and the best way to fix some mushi sushi- a delectable dish of the native floating islanders. It contains a center of melted chocolate mixed with a spice made from coconut shavings. The inside is wrapped in layers of thinly sliced brussel sprouts, native to the island. I takes quite a developed and exquisite sense of taste to enjoy, but gladly, I have such a quality. But after eating so much mushi sushi, I became so fat, the natives awarded me the honor of being a sacred sacrifice to their gods. Immediately understanding my dilemma, I dove into the ocean. I floated for miles and miles until finally finding a way to hoist myself up over a log floating in the water. But then I felt the water growing faster and faster beneath me and I knew the doom that was ahead of me. As I came nearer and nearer to the largest waterfall in all the world, I prayed to God I would live. With that prayer, I went over the edge... and boom!

I was transported into space!

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There I met some aliens and and they gave me some squished human brains that they picked up on their vacation to earth. (Later I found out, it was actually soaked chestnut shells, which they name after their likings.) They had large ears, and huge feet, and when they laughed, little pink bubbles came out of their noses. (This is how I came to name by most recent boat The Pink Bubble.)

After spending a week with the aliens, I awoke to find myself lying on the bank with the waterfall to the North. That fall hurt!!!

Then I remembered the last thing I had eaten had been cookies!

I was famished.

Watching little stars circulate around my head just like in cartoons, I thought I was going to die any minute. What was going to do???

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Well for starters, I decided to fulfill my dream of running up and down the beach while eating a papaya and trying to blow up a balloon. It always sounded like fun- my friend had done an experiment on it in the 7th grade. Also, I decided to light Cheese-Its on fire and see how many tadpoles I could catch with my toes. I was surprised how much energy I had for a dying man, but life provides us with great miracles! This land was very interesting indeed; the soil glowed bright purple and the tree leaves were always on fire. Then I found out, I was actually being cared for by aliens. The aliens I was staying with, Yougombel and Kitchmapay were very welcoming and kind. There is quite a strong language barrier that we are working to get beyond. I wonder how long I will be stranded here? It is quite exhilarating! Apparently, the aliens leave their planet once a month to bombard others and get their food rations. It seems quite strenuous and superfluous but it works for them.

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After such adventures, I decided to get going. Saying farewells, I left Yougombel and Kitchmapay. Upon walking for twenty minutes, something hit me...LITERALLY! It was a pink flying blowfish, with little butterfly wings. I named it Chubchub, after the great heroic pirate who use to be my invisble best friend (until we had a falling out that is). It still pangs me to think of him, but I felt it was time to move on. I felt the best way to this was to name my newfound friend after him. I concluded Chubchub was a good omen- after all, he flew right between my eyes, which meant I needed to watch out for something coming my way. Chub (as I called it) was about the size of a round grape. It had little purple bumps and turned different colors depending on it moods. It taught me about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness, as well as its world where everything eats butterflies and poops rainbows. (I hope to go there for my retirement. But I'll first have to become one with.......